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As is common with short actors, this guy was very fond of himself, and within minutes he was playing aloud a recording of himself singing a song from his upcoming off-Broadway show.As I politely smiled and nodded along to the ballad—a duet!Not to mention that once they hit 30, almost all of them have back hair.To make the situation worse, the doctor then took out a cock ring from his bedside table, which he informed me was necessary for him to stay hard.

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If you don’t watch out, your legs will get blown off and you’ll end up begging for money on the L train.” That might be a bit overdramatic but I understand the sentiment.Although he posed it less as a question and more as an offer, adding that he’d had a few threesomes in the past that were “OK or whatever,” but he’d be willing to have another if it’s what wanted.I said it was very generous of him, and before I knew it, he was leading me into a nearby gay bar, where he suggested I “find a girl for a group sex,” despite the fact that 98 percent of the people in the bar were gay men.When I woke up from that nap, I downloaded Tinder.“How bad could it be? Funnily enough, despite Tinder’s reputation as a hook-up app, most people don’t want to meet soon after matching, but rather engage in hours of meaningless texting—about the latest trendy food hybrid, about how Brooklyn is so expensive—which is something I can’t stand doing with friends, let alone strangers.But eventually, I matched with a handsome enough 30-something who was OK with skipping the small talk.

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