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I wore that outfit for all of Saturday, became extremely annoyed with the response I was getting and then dressed in normal clothes on Sunday. I could wear anything I want there and I wouldn’t come to any legal form of harm.

As a costumer, you have to develop a fairly keen sense for what is a safe space and what is not. That said, the responses I was getting made me want to run away.

Often in ways that are neither obvious nor actionable. The women who want to make sure I know I look a little slutty.

Often in ways that are extremely mild until they pile up interaction after interaction, hour after hour, day after day. The men who might think they’re just having a conversation, but are really hitting every hot button of geek gatekeeping they can.

A constant flow of men grilling me about whether I had watched the series, and trying to trip me up on trivia.

And many of them looking affronted when I corrected them that I was not, actually, Nurse Chapel or Yeoman Rand.

Part of the fascination on social media with watching Abercrombie and Fitch’s fall from grace seemed to be a form of schadenfreude, against the pretty people who had made our lives hell in high school/college/life and who so proudly wore that brand as a mark of tribal membership.

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Often in much more subtle and ostensibly socially acceptable forms than the abuse heaped on Anita Sarkeesian or Rebecca Watson. The people who don’t realize that they’re causing harm through their words and actions.But we do the exact same policing to our own that we see in mainstream society.Women who, at one end of the spectrum, put too much effort into their looks, whether in costume or not, are ostracized.However, once again, it’s coming from a community that delights in being offbeat, in being accepting, in being interesting.But only interesting within the narrow margins of what white male geeks consider “real geekdom”.

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