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Passion and excitement may attract a future mate initially, but long-term relationships require self-discipline.
The nice-guy type gets very high marks in the area of relationship safety and security.
Their focus and commitment to their relationship keeps them on the straight and narrow. Because women with traits of BPD are not capable of withstanding any kind of betrayal, the nice-guy type’s ability to override selfish impulses and give to her consistently turns him into her perfect knight in shining armor.
She believes he will provide her with the kind of guarantee that she knows she must have in order to feel safe in a relationship.
There is a specific reason why these women are drawn to a nice-guy type over other types of personality.
These men tend to care so deeply about their connections that they do not need to struggle in the way the average person does to keep others’ needs in mind.When we don’t, our relationship partners experience our selfish actions as a mild form of betrayal of our relationship agreement.These minor betrayals over agreements to make each other feel safe in the relationship and to keep things fair for both people are at the heart of most of our everyday arguments.Minor betrayals are by no means deal-breakers, but they can definitely ruffle our feathers and hurt our feelings.But people with traits of BPD experience the minor betrayals in the same way we experience the major ones.