After each one, he repeated as instructed, “It is already gone.” Something about his voice and his eyes made me believe him. While these men were supposedly looking into my soul — or at least trying to — we had skipped over all pleasantries and all the facts about ourselves, all of which suddenly seemed a vital stepping stone to actual intimacy.
For all the talk of “real connection” and each of the attendees’ best intentions, we had all just really been pretending.
I had no desire to go on yet another repetitive walk down Valencia, coffee in hand, with the latest man I had swiped right on.
I had imagined a night of being forced to gaze into someone’s eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time (which we did do), and to be honest, that sounded better than trudging through small talk yet again. The facilitator, a short bald man who kept referring to himself as “a real New Yorker,” started off the evening with a parlor trick.
--- Please do bring along a user to keep the balance of users and testers.
What: UX Speed Dating is a monthly event (third Wednesdays!
Despite its name, these are clothing-on, nonsexual events.
This was an evening I had signed up for as a revolt of sorts, to combat the monotony of internet dating.
“Rougher, please,” I said, embracing the idea that he at least might be able to get some of the knots out of my neck.
I realized that all of us faking connections only made me long for the real thing — the thing that happens progressively as you get to know someone, the thing that, unfortunately, these intense “exercises” couldn’t instantly create out of thin air.
As I took my position in front of my last date of the night, I finally felt my first hint of chemistry. I put my head on his chest, and I felt his fingers lightly stroking the outside of my arm.
Users are entered to win a grand-prize (see below) presented at the end of the event.
: a burly man was kneeling before me, clasping my hands and smiling up at me as he uttered softly, “I promise to forever honor and respect you.” But in this scenario, we weren’t alone on some cliff overlooking a sunset. Roughly 40 other singles were paired off around us, all engaged in the exact same awkward declaration — yes, strangers had been instructed to pledge their unconditional devotion to each other.