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Your church leaders tried, but had no success in righting the wrong behavior of your spouse.They found themselves listening to how terrible it is to be married to you, or how hypocritical they were to tell someone else to do right.
One couple remarried after being divorced ten years! There are marriages that are doomed and no matter what happens, it will end and never be healed.It makes you less attractive and intensifies whatever justification he or she has mentally made that allows leaving you. Make it clear that while you would like to save the marriage, your life will go on and you will prosper if they don’t come back. When a person believes that you are there no matter what they do, they have no compulsion to do right. Other people in your life who care about you will still care about you. And, believe it or not, it often helps bring the spouse back, though you cannot do it for only that reason.When they see that you can live happily without them, you become more attractive. No matter how much you love your spouse, life can go on and be good if he or she leaves you. When you are sure that your spouse is involved in something, or with someone, that is wrong, arrange a group to do an intervention.On the other hand, for many years I’ve seen the salvaging of marriages that seemingly everyone else has given up on.Admittedly, I become frustrated with leaders or counselors who too quickly encourage the abandoned spouse to accept that it’s over and move on. However, my experience is that too often we don’t count on the power of God and, therefore, make premature judgments about how hopeless a situation might be. I think that’s a fairly good word to use when God’s involved.