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Another common reason is a cry for help in the marriage.One of Reilly’s patients had an affair, ended it, and then told her husband as a way to point out they were in more trouble than he thought."He was giving me all of the stuff my husband wasn't -- attention and affection," she says.There are many reasons for infidelity such as revenge, boredom, the thrill of sexual novelty, sexual addiction.The theory, Fisher says, is that from the earliest days, women paired with a primary mate to have children.But as women went out to gather food, they slept with other men, creating an insurance policy to have someone who would help rear children and provide resources should their mate die.

Therapy may be helpful to avoid going down that path."I was very lonely; I could never understand the concept of being lonely in a marriage until it happened." Diane began to flirt with other men to get attention, but she never considered having an affair.After a business trip with a friend turned romantic, she began a long-term affair, a path she admits she was likely on anyway as her marriage dissolved.Using another partner to transition out of a bad marriage is one of the common reasons women have affairs."They are on a sinking ship and use it as a life raft because they don't want to just jump into the cold water," Reilly says.

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