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The All-Mighty Overlord Gates appeared and spoke thusly to them: "Admin, for your sin, you will spend your days compiling programs and installing software, but no matter how hard you work, bugs will still sin, you will have intense frustration while doing trivial dick.
And though your desire will be for the same access rights as the Admin, User, he shall rule over your data.
The Internet (Archaic: Inter-net), also know as the Hinternet, the Tinternet, and A Series of Tubes, is a communication tool used by the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
It is made of, but not limited to, a series of tubes, telegraph wires, pony expresses, hobo signs, tortoise shells, subliminal messiging monitors, smoke signals, Oscar Wilde quotes, and warning beacons of Gondor, not to be confused with a big truck.
The large amount of boredom dioxide in the air here is enough to suffocate the average internet inhabitant mostly thanks to this website and Facebook.
The outer rim is sparsely inhabited, and consists mostly of moms, aunts, uncles, old people, seniors, and people on Yahoo reading the daily "LATEST IN" and engaging in email conversations who, contrary to popular belief, actually believe they are "tech savvy".
This area is somewhat rich in memes (though not as much as the core), and the occasional seismic eruption brings porn from deeper layers.
"Noobs" and other strange parasites often escape from the deeper layers and leech onto the sites present here, athough a quick banning or flamethrowing sends them back for at least a year.
Because the data in the core (which is not to be confused with actual data, as it burns the skin) is so unorganized and most of it is a different language like Klingon and 1337, a technology is being developed, codenamed foreign data salvaging (FDS).
This is the only existing reference to the inner Internet as, of course, that is made up of the websites and hardcore Internet nerds concealed by a cover of passing people wondering what all the fuss is about.
Sites such as Uncyclopedia, The 'Beetus, and most forums mostly make up the outer mantle.
Based on a fork of an early prototype build of Usenet bulletin boards, the Internet was originally built by ARPANET and the Defense Data Network in the early 1980s.
It was then made accessible to a wider audience via Tim Berners-Lee's World Wide Web in the early 1990s, and an even wider audience via Bill Gates's Windows 95 in the mid-1990s; however, your Average Joe likely wouldn't know all this and would just assume Bill Gates (or Al Gore) "invented" the Internet.